And just where do you two think you're going?
I don't get it.
She didn't even turn around.
Ok. The eyes in the back of her head thing
is really creepy.
Just so you know, my vision is 20/20, 20/20.
You are not playing hockey
without helmets and a whole bunch of pads
anything that looks like skin, go cover it.
Speaking of helmets and pads,
if we wear them,
can we go bungee jumping later?
Not even off your bed.
Ah...
Bob's parents said he could go.
And if Bob's parents let him jump off a bridge,
would you want to do that, too?
If we were attached to a bungee cord.
Not even if you were still attached
to my umbilical cord.
Ok. Ew!
Why won't you let us have any fun?
It's my job.
It's the first thing they teach you in mom school.
I discipline because I care.
Well, couldn't you care less?
We're not kids, you know.
Yeah.
Can't you treat us like adults?
As soon as I don't have to buy
my own mother's day cards.
Fine. We'll read.
Careful, Cody.
You better put your helmet on.
Those are hard cover books.
Is this safe enough for you, mom?
Ow! Paper cut.
Mommy, kiss it!
♪ Here I am in your life ♪
♪ here you are in mine ♪
♪ yes, we have a suite life ♪
♪ most of the time ♪
♪ you and me, we got the world to see ♪
♪ so come on down ♪
♪ just me and you know what to do ♪
♪ so come on down ♪
♪ it's you and me and me and you ♪
♪ we got the whole place to ourselves ♪
♪ you and me, we got it all for free ♪
♪ so come on down ♪
♪ this is the suite life ♪
♪ we've got a suite life ♪
Hey, maddie.
I'll have a dozen chocolate zingdoodles please.
Sorry, your mother told me
not to give you anymore sweets.
You want to play roller hockey with us?
No. Number one, I'm working,
and number two, hockey is way too violent.
Ow!
You think that hurts,
these shoes are killing me.
Ow, ow, ow...
Well, I'm no foot doctor,
but here's a though.
Take the shoes off.
I can't.
London gave me $100 to break them in for her.
Well, you always said
you wished you could walk in London's shoes.
Yeah, that's before I knew how small
London's feet were.
[Shivering]
It's raining llamas and goats outside.
Don't you mean cats and dogs?
[Laughing]
That's a silly expression.
Why must all women shop so much?
9 shopping bags?
One for every day of the week.
I bet you also think
a woman's place is in the kitchen.
Only after she gets back from the grocery store.
Oh, that attitude is so typically male.
I'll have you know,
women are capable of doing anything!
How about talking quietly.
So, how are my donatelli heels doing?
My feet are killing me.
I can't wear these for another second.
Here's an extra 20.
I can walk on my hands.
Oh, my word.
Just where do you two hooligans think you're going?
I'm thinking Harvard law school,
and Zach's thinking San Quentin.
Mm-hmm.
On an athletic scholarship.
Oh. You should play outside.
But it's raining.
No matter what the weather,
you do not play ball in my lobby.
You're right.
We should play ball in the ball room.
No. That's not what I meant.
Would you ple--
no. Not now.
[Stuttering]
Get, get, get--
we'll be right with you.
Now give me that puck.
This instant.
Nice save, Mr. moseby.
[Growling]
Hi, Carrie.
Oh, you're so tense.
Stiff as a board.
You've really lost some weight.
Lose anymore, you might disappear.
Oop, where'd she go?
Carrie? Carrie, where are you?
Oh, there you are.
Hey, arwin, what are you--
oh!
Ok, that's a little disturbing.
I was just practicing asking your mom out
because every time I try to ask your real mom out,
I get lost in her
big, brown beautiful eyes.
Arwin?
Yeah.
Put mom in a drawer and come play with us.
I mean, every time we ask somebody to play with us
they all say the same thing.
I don't have time.
Yeah.
No, no. I mean, I really don't have time.
See, when I'm not practicing my dating skills,
I'm working on a secret project.
So secret, in fact,
that no power on earth
could make me tell you what it is.
Then we won't ask.
Ok, ok. I'm gonna tell you.
Are you ready?
3, 2, 1...
Tada!
Aaaah!
Yeah!
Wow. A pay phone.
You invented something
that nobody uses anymore.
[Thunder]
Ah! Lightning.
It's the perfect time to try out
my parallel universalizer.
Your what?
My p.U.
Well, that clears things up.
Ok, ok. I've been reading up
on the string theory.
Which is the scientific basis
for moving from one dimension to another.
Now, theoretically,
this machine can transport you
to other worlds.
When you're really hungry,
so can a dingdoodle.
Ok, my little skeptics.
We'll have a demonstration.
Soon as I get back from the little janitor's room.
Excuse me.
Nobody touch the p.U.
Until I get back from my p.U.
I really have to go.
Zach.
Arwin said not to.
Ah, come on.
Nothing he ever makes works.
Please deposit another 25 cents
to go to a parallel world.
I don't have any more change.
I've got a bus pass.
That'll work.
[Coughing]
Ah, I banged my head on something hard.
Yeah. My head.
Looks like we're stuck
in the same old boring world.
Radio: In the news today, president Paris Hilton
announced that cellulite is now illegal.
Don't let Mr. moseby see us.
Remember, we're banned from the lobby.
Hey, boys.
Hey, Mr. moseby.
Nice shades.
Thanks, z. And I've told you...
Call me m.
You're not upset that we're in the lobby?
Upset? Why would I be upset?
Come on now.
Hey, what do you think of my new lid?
Tight.
Actually, it fits perfectly.
Ah! Come on.
Don't leave me hangin'.
Ease up. Go, uh!
Want to play some football?
Yeah!
Let's go! Go long, go long.
Time out. Huddle up.
Ok...The--
not you.
Got it.
This must be a trap.
There's probably a hidden camera somewhere.
Then moseby will show mom the tape
and get us grounded.
Wow. He's even more devious than I thought.
And now he's shooting spitballs at the guests.
Ooh! Got you.
Ok, this is officially weird.
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
Why are you wearing maddie's clothes?
These aren't maddie's clothes.
Well, except for her shoes.
Which, by the way, are killing me.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to go work.
Work? Work?
Hi. Bonjour.
Kisses. Look!
It's little me back from paree.
So, are the shoes you've been breaking in for me
comfortable yet?
They feel terrific.
And I'm sure the blood stains will come out.
Maddie, how can you afford all this stuff?
Did you win money on a quiz show?
Maddie on a quiz show?
Please, she thinks a polygon
means your parent's missing.
She thinks Ecuador
is how you get in an ecua.
She thinks the nutcracker suite
is the nicest room at the nutcracker hotel.
She thinks--
are you trying to insult me?
I rest my case.
You better watch it,
or your job at the Fitzpatrick hotel
will be history.
Fitzpatrick hotel?
Since when is this the Fitzpatrick?
Since my daddy bought the hotel. Duh.
But you aren't... And she's not...
And moseby with the throwing...
Ok. We get it.
You guys are all trying to teach us a lesson
by creeping us out.
And it's working.
I'm officially creeped.
How far are you guys
willing to go for a joke?
[Clanging noise]
Hey, dudes.
Go get your pogo sticks.
We'll pogo in the park.
Whee!
Mom, haven't you noticed
everyone's acting a little weird around here?
I thought you guys were downstairs
playing lobby football with m?
Ok, knock it off, mom.
Is that baked Alaska?
It was.
Well, what are we going to eat?
Whatever you want. Just call room service.
You told us not to do that anymore.
Why would I say that?
Then I'd have to cook for you.
Ok.
See you guys tomorrow. Maybe.
Where are you going?
I'm gonna go dye my hair blue.
So you can dye your hair blue,
but we can't go bungee jumping?
Now who said you can't go bungee jumping?
It's quicker than the elevator.
I can tell you that.
Bye, guys.
Could this get any weirder?
[Knock on door]
Maid service.
That would be a yes.
Hola, little blonde peoples.
I am here to clean the room.
Esteban?
Estebanita.
Are you staring at me?
Yeah. Yeah.
Hi, guys!
Could you toss me... My purse.
Cody...
I have a funny feeling
we're not in Boston anymore.
Wow.
That was so much more fun than the elevator.
I can't believe arwin's machine
actually took us to a parallel universe.
All for a quarter.
Yeah, there's the headline.
Whoa, check out the candy counter.
Hey, guys. Go ahead.
Take as much as you want.
Won't moseby me mad
if he finds out we took some?
He'll be mad if you don't.
Sweet thing.
I love this place!
Whoo! Whoo!
Hey, flying noogies!
Ahh!
Universe!
Nah nah nah nah!
Although I could do without that.
London.
My shoes are now acceptable,
and I would like to take a walk in them.
Fine.
But I bet you can't walk and chew gum.
Oh, yeah?
I meant at the same time.
What, am I an acrobat?
Wow.
This maddie makes our London look like a genius.
London, it's raining outside.
Very good, maddie.
I need you to hold my umbrella
so I won't get wet.
Hold your own umbrella.
I can't. I'm too busy going...
Yeah, me!
Listen carefully,
nothing on earth will make me walk behind you
holding an umbrella.
Here's $500.
After you.
If I feel one drop of rain on my head,
I'm gonna give you such a zets, you'll plotz.
Boy, talk about irony.
Uh-oh...
My cotton candy's stuck to the couch.
Zach, Cody...
Couches are not for eating.
They're for jumping!
Ha ha! Come on!
Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!
Ok, now, you go up, and I go down.
Wanna watch another movie?
We've been watching movies for two days now.
I can't even blink.
My eyes are out of saliva.
Hi, guys.
Bye, guys.
Where are you going?
On tour to promote my cd.
It's number one on the charts.
Well, who's going to take care of us?
Well, you'll take care of him,
he'll take care of you.
That's why I had twins.
Is that such a good idea?
Don't worry, I got everything taken care of.
I've even got your dinner ready.
We've been kind of eating candy for two days.
Yeah, don't you have any vegetables?
Like green beans, lima beans,
string beans?
How about jelly beans?
Yum.
Well, how long are you gonna be gone?
Oh, just three months, maybe a year.
Bye.
[Doorbell rings]
That must be my manager.
Arwin?
It's a diddy.
Hi, a diddy.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't wrinkle the leather,
ok, babe?
Ok.
[Clears throat]
Ok.
So, you ready to rock the world?
As long as I'm with you, my world will be rocked.
[Giggling]
Yeah, listen...
Sweetheart...
How many times have I told you?
A thousand.
A thousand times.
You don't want to get involved with a guy like me.
I'm nothing but trouble.
Trouble...
With great hair.
Mom, can't we go with you?
No, no, no, no.
Having you two along
wouldn't be good for her superstar image.
Yeah, haven't you seen the title of my new cd?
"Carrie Martin. Who needs kids?"
So, we're not going to see you for a whole year?
Of course you're gonna see her.
She's got a pay per view concert coming up.
Don't we get a hug?
Sorry. Got a plane to catch.
Hug each other.
But mom?
I can't believe she really left.
For a whole year.
Well, on the bright side,
we can do whatever we want.
Go to bed late, eat junk food.
But we're already doing that.
I kind of miss mom telling us
to eat our vegetables and do our homework.
Yeah, and I miss ignoring mom
telling us to eat our vegetables and do our homework.
Having nothing but fun
really isn't all that fun.
Yeah. We gotta get back.
[Thunder]
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Chihuahua's have freakishly large ears?
'Cause I mean, compared to their little bodies,
they're just like, massive.
No!
I meant, remember when we got in the machine,
there was that bolt of lightning,
and that's what activated the p.U.
Yes. We better get down to arwin's office
before the lightning ends,
or we could get stuck here forever.
I got the quarter.
Oh, and by the way,
guess who's on the quarter in this world?
George Washington?
No. George clooney.
I've got the bus pass.
Now, all we have to do
is just wait for some lightning.
Did it work?
Radio: President Paris Hilton made it illegal today
to weigh more than 108 pounds.
This will be my last broadcast.
It didn't work.
Now we'll never see our real mom again.
Wait a second.
I just remembered something.
When the lightning struck,
you fell against that lever.
So, you want me to fall?
No need.
[Coughing]
Both: Arwin!
Zach! Cody!
Why are we yelling?
Because we missed you.
Well, I missed you, too.
How long were we gone?
You never left.
Yes, we did.
We were gone for two days.
Your machine works.
It took us to a parallel universe.
You wore leather, you had hair.
And mom had a huge crush on you.
She did?
Mom!
P.U., here I come.
Go, baby, go!
[Machine engine starts and stops]
Ha ha ha ha!
No!
Go, baby, go!
I'm shorter here.
Oh...
Go, baby, go!
For the thousandth time, no running in the lobby.
We're running to hug you.
No hugging in the lobby.
We love you, Mr. moseby.
You're so wonderfully strict.
Yes, I am. Now let go.
Very well.
Maddie...
Are my shoes broken in yet?
Yes, and I have the bunions to prove it.
London, what's 12 times 12?
A math question?
Yes! We're back!
How many times have I told you guys,
no candy before dinner.
Both: Mom!
Ok...
We missed you.
I was only at the grocery store
for 20 minutes.
Would've been 10, but I couldn't decide
between one ply or two.
Just so you know, tonight we'll be in bed,
teeth brushed, by 7:30.
7:20. Tv off by 7:00.
What is going on?
I know this sounds kind of crazy,
but we went to a parallel world,
and you let us do anything we wanted,
and moseby was pogo sticking in the lobby.
And you were in love with arwin.
That's it. No more sugared breakfast cereals.
It's true. And you were there.
And you.
And you, too.
And the nuttiest thing of all,
Esteban was a woman.
Hola.
[Both scream]
I'm going to a costume party.
I did not think I looked that bad.
You guys want some pie for dessert?
I've got apple or cherry.
How about spinach?
Wow. That dream must've really affected you guys.
It wasn't a dream, if it was,
how did we both have the same one?
Well, it's actually a pretty common thing with twins.
It's called fallez a deux.
So that's French for, we made the whole thing up?
Think about it.
A phone booth that takes you to a parallel universe.
Bungee jumping off the building?
And that all seems pretty farfetched.
I guess it was our twin telepathy again.
I knew you were gonna say that.
Well, it's 7:28. We better get to bed.
I sure hope we don't have that dream again.
I'll be in in a second, guys.
Hmm.
George clooney.
I'll keep this one.